Transition. Change. Words I have always hated. September always seems to carry some form of impending doom for me. Even for all of these years I have been a student, not just starting in the autumn months.

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Right now I am going through a giant transition. I have been a labour and birth doula for over four years now, yet have always worked meaningless jobs never allowing me to just be a doula. It has been a month since I left a job that was taking up all of my time and energy in order to focus on what just being a doula means to me. Slowly searching for a complimentary job to help me grow, not squash what I love to do so much. Sounds great right? Except I am writing this from my fourth day in bed with anxiety, panic attacks and a minor gastro virus. I wasn’t taking the transition so well, so my body reacted. I don’t listen without LOUD messages from the universe, it’s kinda my thing.

What does this crazy amount of oversharing have to do with birth work you may ask? What is the most intense part of labour called? What is it called when someone goes from being just a couple, or a person- to a family? Transition. It is painful, uncomfortable and kinda makes you a cranky, tired, uncomfortable zombie. The result of transition? Birth. A new life, a new relationship, a new business endeavor, a new project. It fucking sucks, but it is so, so necessary. Transition means something amazing is about to happen. That something is about to come into life. That things are about to get better.

Now I don’t entirely know if I wrote this to convince you, or to convince me. Either way, just know your extremely empathetic doula sees you, and gets it, knows how much transition sucks and will hold your hand through the entire thing. Solidarity.